Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Why is squid ink safe to eat, while skunk spray is not? What makes the two liquids different from each other?

I can read

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand how hurricane paths work

Do humans know everything they need to know?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

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Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I see through liars

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

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I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I can count

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Atheists claim that Earth is 10 billion years old, yet there are no fossils that old. What do you have to say for yourselves for lying?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for fakery

Why does my iPhone keep on saying I can’t upload photos to iCloud and say it doesn't have enough iCloud storage when it still has space?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

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I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Will MAGATS boycott Taylor Swift now that she and Travis are supporting Harris?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Why do people with trauma easily recognize other people with trauma through eye contact?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

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I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

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I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

If babies could write, what questions would they ask on Quora?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have a reading level above third grade

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When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Why do some people have sex with dogs?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t buy bullshit

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t cotton to rapists

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight